Remember in season 3 of New Girl, when Jess and Nick break up? Yeah, I like to forget that it happened too…
After their hangover fight over how they would educate their future children while trying to put together a toy, they say that even though they keep fighting, they love each other, Jess then says, “but what if that’s all we have in common?” When that episode first aired, Christopher was in the room with me watching it (let’s be honest, in our tiny homes we’re always in the same space), and we both said something similar like, “that’s us”.
My husband and I don’t really have that much in common. I love music, listen to it all day err’day. I can tell who sings most songs, even if I’ve never heard that particular song before (as long as I know the musician’s voice), I love trivia shows like Jeopardy (I used to record it every day when we had a PVR.. I miss that) and get really excited when there are Literature or Pop Culture categories. I have a lot of books, and shoes, and take up most of the room (like 90%) in our closet.
Christopher can play video games and computer games for hours on end and probably forget to eat. He enjoys music, but isn’t concerned about who’s singing, or if a cover is better or worse than the original. He will read, but prefers non-fiction or fantasy (like Lord of the Rings). I’m an English major and find joy in expressing myself through the written word, and Christopher is an IT professional who enjoyed calculus in high school and understands so many things that are way over my head. We both love TV and movies, but our tastes rarely overlap. I love Downton Abbey and Audrey Hepburn movies, as well as comedies like The Office and Gilmore Girls. Chris will watch those shows if they’re on, or I’ll hear him laughing at one of the jokes in the other room, but he’s not likely to watch them on his own. We do however both love Suits and Brooklyn Nine-Nine and only watch new episodes together. When it comes to movies the only ones we’re likely to watch together without the other coercing the other into it (like I did on Friday when we went to see Cameron Crowe’s Aloha) are superhero movies like The Avengers (and any of the individual movies) and Guardians of the Galaxy, and Disney movies (we would both be happy to go to Disneyland every year). More often than not, the only thing that Christopher and I have in common is our love for each other. Sometimes that’s all we have to go on. I have a hard time convincing him to go running with me or play Trivial Pursuit (though right now I’m having a hard time convincing myself to go) and I always say no to playing Risk or Halo. But, I love him, and he loves me. We do have similar goals for our life and I think that really helps when we struggle to find things that we have in common. And even though we don’t share hobbies, we are supportive of each other’s passions and are willing to listen to each other talk about them (he’s definitely better at that than me). I’ve learned that you don’t have to have everything in common in order to have a happy and successful marriage. I know that three years of marriage and four years of being a couple doesn’t make me an expert in the field of love, but I feel like it makes me an expert on us.
Do you have a lot in common with your significant others? Do opposites always attract? Or are we the exception?